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posted : Thursday, October 15, 2009
title : SHIT CANADA NEEDS #3
 +Lies. Canadians get lied to all the time - by our media, by our government, and of course, by those infomercials which claim they can provide endless amounts of male enhancement. (Utter bullshit, I assure you.) These lies not only translate into a country of less trusting citizens, but an air of hostility that grows thicker and thicker with each and every lie. Unfortunately, this cycle of lies and hostility will probably not cease on its own. Thus, for the sake of Canada, we must target and make examples of our country’s most egregious liars: those restaurants that keep up their “Grand Opening” signs long after their grand opening is over. This act of downright blasphemy, my friends, is #3 of Shit Canada Needs.When an innocent man is strolling down the street on a balmy autumn afternoon he will obviously be looking for one of three things; a girl, his purpose, or of course the best place to get spaghetti in town. Now, in his search, the last thing he wants is a barrel of lies and slander. I think it's safe to assume that all women are 100% truthful and your purpose doesn't mislead you but that spaghetti place has been telling you fibs for the past two weeks. It's been having a grand opening for 14 days. This will not stand. By making them remove that sign we will be creating a more honest and loving world. It may prove difficult for Canada to reach a consensus on how long restaurants can keep up their “Grand Opening” signs. It may also may prove difficult to enforce the new law, regardless of how many Canadians support it. However, over time, the benefits will be tremendous: not only will we be able to trust “Grand Opening” signs once again, but maybe, just maybe, we’ll know that when an infomercial promises boosted performance, we’ll get at least some. Unlike Brad Pitt and Jolie. John01010100010 ps. I REALLY need to see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. Labels: Funny, Opinion, Parody, Shit Canada Needs Theme |