In this blog, we will be discussing talented Elizabethan playwright Christopher Marlowe, interviewing REAL frenchman Gabriel Thomassin, and rapping for you freestyle

THIS SHIT IS FRESH.

Ok, Check this motherfuckin' shit out, biatches. Christopher Marlowe: Gay, Atheist playwright, SPY who accidentally stabbed himself in the eye. That is all.

Voici an intimate and interactive live vocal jam session with Gabriel; non-separatist frenchman.

P: So, Gabriel, have you always been french?

G: I used to be African.

P: But you're white.

G:Yeah.

K: Favourite kind of poutine?

G: That's a tough one... My favourite one has ground beef and real poutine sauce.

P: What's the weirdest kind of poutine you've heard of?

G: (no answer)

P: Ok, I will answer the question for you: Eggs Benedict Poutine. Sick. Moving on.

K: Que penses-tu de Pierre Trudeau?

G: Whenever a Quebecois is PM, we eat shit.

K: Do you think he's sexy?

G: I don't remember his face

(we showed him a picture)

G: Oh, yeah, definitely.

K: What animal do you hate, and why? Like, you wish it was dead and never existed?

G: Flies.

K: Did you pierce your own lip?

G: No, everyone on the Katimatrip did it

(Gabriel is part of this weird cult where they say "Katima" in front of practically EVERY WORD.)

K: What do you love and hate the most about Quebec?

G: Love French. It's a beautiful language.

P: Good french swears for our loyal readers?

G: Tabarnac. Also Cris.

K: What do you want to be reincarnated as?

G: A Big Redwood tree.

P: What's a cool french band you would recommend?

G: Karkwa, they're crazy live.

P: Closing Question: tell us a great drunk story.

G: In Edmonton, I went on a pub crawl-

K: Did you go to Suite 69

G: No.

P:Ok, then what happened?

G: I went to this bar, and my friend tried to get in with her vodka, and the doorman said no, and they had a big fight, and by the time she got into the bar, I had kissed some stranger. Don't remember it.

K: A perfect ending to a perfect blog.

Check out our new up and coming blog, for porn reviews, astrology readings and great family recipes.

It'll be better than this one, let's be honest.

Paula, Kelta and Gabriel